// μ = m // dayvan cowboy // music is math

I’ve gotten to hate meta-considerations on a blog blog journal , but this is somewhat relevant in that it conveys information. I mostly dropped the ball on dayvan cowboy the blog journal because the whole idea of dayvan cowboy the book was conceived while manic and not noticing just how overcrowded the entire genre is. I did have the deleuzian angle going for me, but behind the bullshit, surfing the “plane of immanence” applied to my own particular story basically meant “trying to feel really — but really, deeply alive”. Most people don’t realize that to be alive they have to go for the plane of immanence — in a nutshell, constantly redefining themselves in order not to let the identity you contructed get in the way of actually experiencing the real. Whether going for deleuzian lingo and risking getting shot both from the Badiou and the De Landa camps further encumbered the pipedream project of a book I couldn’t manage to consistently write remains an open question.

But I still have a blog blog journal , you know. And letting it rot for such a long while owes in part to not wanting to admit the book project was a bad idea in first place and in part to pax seroquel. Sometimes you’re just too blissed out to care about projects — too alive in a way that skateboarding down the plane of immanence wouldn’t describe, but still too alive. But then I started to take some ritalin, which makes me more anxious and ends up with long, shapeless intellectualization of your issues, sometimes taking the form of long, weird dreams or some mild dr/dp while you try to analyze the background of what the hell is going on.

Sometimes a chat partner will illuminate a slice of it. And that’s how I got to sit down and write a damn blog journal post.

I haven’t been really-really down for quite a while, and it’s all a matter of whipping up the energy to do what you’ve been planning for the day -– update the blog journal or write the section of the book about anonymity and coming out of the closet.

Yeah, well, just plain whipping up the energy isn’t always plain whipping up the energy, and while there’d sure be energy for running three miles if I needed the money or was in need, keeping the motivation for a longer-term goal can be complicated to say the least -– and remember this is no darn book of poems; I’m trying to tackle complexity here.If I just had put that hypomania to optimal use…

And yes, much of the problem comes from never getting to learn how to use your human skills because in hypomania you don’t need them and often everything that needs to get done gets done gets done in hypomania anyway.

But hey, I’m trying to start a marketing campaign, which can’t just mean post-once-and-run. I should blog journal more often. And this is prime time for the section about coming out of the closet because the number of people who know about my manic-depressive illness is reaching critical scale.

Mostly it’s the marketing campaign timing. I should really stick to good marketing timing or I’ll never leave one-post-three-hidden-chapters. And the very fact that I am worrying about marketing timing shows that I am not that depressed. I just have no fucking idea of how to go about things not being hypo.

No, really, this was way unexpected. And I’ve had no stinkin’ antidepressants either, just old’ school anticonvulsants; this week I took my first non-anticonvulsant med and it was an antipsychotic. I’ve been depressed all my life, mostly the dysthimic, “soft” kind of depressed comparable to the chinese torture where they tie you down and let a tiny droplet of water fall on your head every ten seconds.

But with some random lashes of the real stuff too. And then, when the last straw broke, maybe a year ago, a psychiatrist (whom I shall refer as my shrink) diagnosed a case of “soft” bipolar II and gave me anticonvulsants with a soft, very soft antidepressant edge. Then I fliped out. Not like now, anyway. They never expected the spanish inquisition that even though I’d get better from the depression and have longer and longer periods of stability and an improving overall functioning (a better social life, an actual job), I’d be getting these progressively higher crises of [hypomania.

Thinking back, I've had a couple of [hypo]manias before treatment. Guess I am bipolar after all. I shall refer to them all as manias; apparently you only get to call them manias if you spontaneously self-combust from the sheer self-destructive behaviour, and as long as you have a shred of consciousness you don’t get to be manic.

I have a shred of consciousness. I’m here at work, where everyone’s wearing a suit and I’m supposed to be preparing for an important meeting in two hours, and I’m in my “KILL YOUR POP STARS” t-shirt setting up the blog journal for the book I’ve been writing for a few weeks now. But I noticed that. I’ve not gone psychotic, I’m just having fun.  Because contrary to what jaggerian though proposes, I can always get what I want.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zae2jfcbkf4]

O ônus da prova é uma das meta-narrativas mais interessantes da ciência, em parte porque tem valor retórico central (de estruturação do discurso), em parte porque não foi adequadamente coberto pelas críticas da meta-narrativa da filosofia da ciência do século passado e em parte porque tem o poder de alcance de uma alavanca: sozinho, o ônus da prova (e o seu análogo de lógica temporal, o método genético) pode inclinar fortamente, a partir de um eixo simples, a compreensão teórica do processo em questão na ponta da gangorra.

Ora, em termos teóricos, a heterodoxia põe o ônus da prova sobre a certeza cientificizante da common wisdom ortodoxa: cabe a nós demonstrar que o mercado fará as coisas que nós dissemos que faria — otimalidades sociais e eficiência alocativa. Por outro lado, em termos de formulação de política, é fácil pôr sobre eles o ônus da prova sobre a efetividade e valor normativo dos métodos de correção local que se propõe colocar para corrigir as falhas percebidas no mercado.

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p>A ortodoxia defende a direção que dá ao ônus da prova por um misto de cientificidade procedimental (e a heterodoxia dificilmente se rebaixa a produzir proposições falsificáveis, contrastá-las contra experimentos naturais e promover um debate claro sobre os méritos relativos das construções teóricas) e prudência (e afinal, como ministro das finanças austríaco Schumpeter gerou uma hiperinflação, e como diretor de um importante banco levou a instituição à falência). A heterodoxia defende a inversão desse ônus por um misto de cientificidade substantiva (e a teoria ortodoxa não é substancialmente científica porque seus primeiros princípios são absolutamente irreais) e urgência (é preciso “desenvolver” o país, para eles).

I’ve been writing about Haskell for a while on my blog blog journal spot.com”>super-cool blog blog journal spot.com”>super-cool